My name is Nigel.  I am The Worst Person and I’ve run Terrible Movies for Terrible People since roughly 2011.  I have nothing to show for any of it except a visible lack of dignity and a stack of DVDs and Blu-Rays roughly the size of Danny DeVito.  I enjoy being awful at video games, up until recently I drove a Smart Car on purpose, and I love pugs more than is probably considered normal by society.

Watching terrible movies used to be something of a tradition in my family.  We’d take turns choosing the worst movies we could find and then we’d force the rest of the family to watch them.  I’ll never forget the day my father showed us “a movie he’d heard about from a guy at work”, Thankskilling.  It was magical.  Thankskilling was the cinematic equivalent of watching a dog poop.  It was horrifying, yet, we couldn’t look away.  The first time we heard the line, “You just got stuffed!” from the beak of a murderous, post-coital killer Turkey, we had to pause the movie because of how hard we were laughing.

Now, I work tirelessly to bring that same tradition into your homes.  It will permeate your families until nothing is left but loveless despair and a bit of self-deprecating humor.  It’s important to me that you also must suffer, as I have.  Good luck, everyone else.  I apologize for nothing.